The Thrower's Lament

By Jason Chasse.

You watch a movie just to see the hero throw his/her knife.

You have a target in your bedroom.

When you toss and turn all night knives are involved.

You pick up a new screwdriver at the store you test its balance.

You put your kitchen knives away the butcher block gets damaged.

You buy a suit at the store and you ask yourself, Can I wear my
shoulder carry knives under this?

You don't care how cheesy the ninja flick is as long as they show
shuriken being used.

You long for the day that Worf will throw his bat'leth in an episode
of Star Trek.

You belong to the Thrower page on the Internet.

You actually believe that a throwing knife can beat a .45 Colt.

The thought of a drive-by knife throwing doesn't seem so far
fetched.

When standing 100 feet from the target, your chant is, "I think I can,
I think I can, I think I can".

You say to all your friends in a defensive tone, why couldn't knife
throwing be an Olympic event?

You are seen dressed in a robe and hood in some Middle-east village
searching for a knife that ALWAYS flies straight.

You go to a Cowboy Action Shoot with more tomahawks and knives then
guns.

You search the WWW for professional throwing knives and all you get
are cheap rip offs.

You see kids playing mumblety peg and you say, Been there, done that.
Very smugly.

You say to the judge, Honest your honor they are not weapons, it is a
real sport, really.

You still haven't found a knife with that certain something.

The girl next door won't go out with you because she has seen your
throwing area.

John L Bailey

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